Cutting


Subtle as light scratches or as horrific as inch-deep cuts, the allure of cutting attracts thousands of teens. Whether they are looking for a temporary relief, respite from chronic pain from a pain-filled past, or have resorted to cutting as a way of coping, they know deep down it is not a healthy relief. For some it can be borderline addicting.

What Are They Feeling?

• Inadequate
• Guilty
• Lonely and insignificant
• Frightened; many live in constant fear

What Are They Thinking? ‘Cutter’ Self-talk includes:

• Fear of the unknown – What they do not know seems scarier than their present level of pain or anxiety.
• Fear of exposure – They fear that acknowledging there is a problem will lower their social status.
• Fear of stopping – They feel incapable of dealing with deeper forms of pain without cutting.
• Fear of blame – “When this problem is brought to light, they will be to blame for everything that is wrong.”
• Feeling of hopelessness – They see no possibility of healing or of getting meaningful help.

How Can You Help?

1. You and your teen are not alone. We all need accountability. Together, maintain a personal relationship that includes accountability so that you both do not stay stuck in dysfunctional behaviors; humility helps us avoid projecting our own issues onto another person.
2. We are all lovable, capable and worthwhile.  It will help you maintain perspective so that regardless what you hear, respond lovingly.
3. Provide unconditional love. Compassion more often than confrontation will yield results.
4. Do not confuse the symptom [cutting] with the real problem [distorted thinking].
5. Find alternative coping strategies: talking to others, journaling, praying, listening to affirming music, artistically express hope (poetry, painting, drawing), laughing. Celebrate their successes.
6. If there is an apparent shift from “cutting to cope” to “cutting to destroy,” intervention is needed. Explain: “I care about you. You can change. I know you tried to change. It didn’t work. You need help. Let’s get help together.”

A first step might include scheduling a doctor's appointment. A medical exam will evaluate their physical health and to help assess next steps.

Next steps may include:

• Additional medical care to address present health problems
• In-patient or outpatient treatments, psychotherapy, support groups that provide accountability for them, and support groups for you as the caregiver.

Coping Techniques To Offer As Cutting Alternatives

• Call a crisis line. See below.
• Create an internally safe place where you can go.
• Focus on what is real and around you right now.
• Get a warm drink and curl up in a safe place with a comfortable blanket.
• Hold ice.
• Keep dangerous things out of your house/apartment/dorm room.
• Make a CD of hope-filled music for those bad times.
• Make a contract with someone you care about and who cares about you.
• Make a list of friends you can call.
• Try and focus on getting through this crisis time.
• Try not to be too hard on yourself for feeling this way.
• Use a red marker instead of a sharp object.
• Use a toothbrush to simulate cutting instead of a sharp object.

Edited from Psyke.org.

Resources

Phone:

• Love Lines: (612) 379-1199
• Crisis Connection: 24 Hour Crisis Phone Line: (612) 379-6363
• Your Medical Insurance Nurses’ Line for Referrals to Doctors and Therapists

Websites:

• Self-Injury.Net – For self-injurers and their friends and family to find community, support, and information.
• Healthy Place – Great resources, information, and support about self-injury.
• Psyke.org – Self-injury information and support.

Books:

• Levenkron, Steven. (1998). Cutting:  Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutiliation. W.W. Norton & Co.
• Shapiro, Lawrence. (2008). Stopping the Pain:  A Workbook for Teens Who Cut and Self-Injure. Instant Help Books.