Family Mediations   

Sometimes you and your teen get stuck. You find that you simply can’t resolve the conflicts that seem to divide you. It’s frustrating and maddening. 

We often get stuck on positions (the what) and fail to focus on our interests (the why). 

What does this mean and how will understanding it help me resolve my conflicts with my teen?

Positions can be defined as the point over which we are arguing. So it might be as simple as "not cleaning up your room," "acting rudely," or "you haven’t mowed the lawn like you said you would." 

But our interests are deeper and more easily understood and agreed upon. Interests lay beneath the surface of our position and represent what truly matters to us. Identifying our interests in conflict can open us up to deeper understanding of each other. 

So my interest might then be “when you act rudely I feel disrespected and begin to be concerned that you won’t treat others well and won’t be treated well in your life. That would make me really sad.” 

Or interest might be, “I want you to fulfill your responsibility because I wanted to spend some extra time with you today. I was really looking forward to that.” 

Positions vs. Interests. Simple but powerful. 

TreeHouse staff are equipped to help you and your teen sort through complex issues and ongoing conflicts. We can help you talk things through, get beyond positions, find common ground as it relates to interest, and determine win-win solutions. 

For more information about Family Mediations, contact Wayne Thyren.