Teen Drug or Alcohol Use

A parent’s response to this issue will depend on what you know vs. what you may suspect. Response may also depend on the frequency of use or what is being used. 

Do not accuse them of “using” if you don’t know for sure. However, ignoring signs of possible use, or saying nothing, is also not the proper response.

Watch for Signs: If you find evidence that they are using alcohol or getting high, keep your eyes open. They may hide it for a while, but usually will slip at some point. Don’t be afraid to ask them if they have been using or to report to them things you see like behavior or attitude changes, grades dropping, changes in friends, dilated pupils, paraphernalia in their jean pocket, etc.

Be clear about consequences: Let them know what the consequence will be if they come home high or drunk. If they deny using, but your suspicions become stronger, let them know that based on what you see, you will take them in for a urine test.  If they haven’t used pot, they have nothing to fear.

Once use has been confirmed either by their admission (they will generally minimize their use to you), or because of a drug test, let them know what you will do if it continues. This may include treatment, or removing them from your home when age appropriate. If you find drugs in your home, contact the police. 

Mistaken Beliefs at the Core: Teens who use drugs view them as a solution to a problem they have, not as a problem. Until that belief changes they will continue to use.  Hitting bottom can help them change this belief, however, this may take too long or may be life threatening. In this case, bringing the bottom up may be necessary through consequences, or an intervention.